


Build a Rocket for Me?

by Aquamint



Category: Grimes (Musician) RPF, SEVENTEEN (Band), SpaceX, billionaire RPF?
Genre: Aliens, Crack, Houston we have a shitpost, Multi, Seungkwan defeats Jeff Bezos in the end, Space Race AU, absolute crack, chat/text fic, grimes is not an alien but she has alien friends, i only know like 2 things about grimes go ahead and skewer me for this, in the comments you can tell me how she made friends with the aliens, inspired by 2018/05/09 carat bucket list post, jeb bush voice: please laugh, like they are actually trying to get to space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 09:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14589921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aquamint/pseuds/Aquamint
Summary: Vernon is a bit confused when he finds out that his musician and producer friend Claire is dating billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk. When he learns of her brilliant ulterior motive, he too sets his sights on someone who can help him achieve his life-long dream.





	1. ☆.｡.:* o n e  :,,* ○☆

(Messages)  
  
**Grimes PD (Claire lmao)**  
  
May, 7 2018 at 7:37 pm

                                                        uhhhh

                               

       Claire are you ok?

 

I guess it's not really my business  
but are you really going out with  
the tesla dude?

 

He seems... interesting?

 

 

8:22 pm

uhh sorry bye

 

 

* * *

  
May, 8 2018 at 10:17 pm

hey sorry about yesterday i guess i  
was just surprised and curious...

 

Pics from the Met are coming out.  
you two look really cool

 

I'll get a choker like that  


but of the new svt logo lol

 

 

 

* * *

 

May, 9 2018 at 2:52 am

oh vernie... ..

  
ur silly,,

  
3:32 am

 

can i tell u a lil secret ?

 

i'm gonna go to space

 

:,,* ○☆

 

Elon thinks it'll be soon

  
i've got some buddies out there  
who really want to hear what i've  
been working on ;P

 

he's ok tbh but ..

 

i'm here for the spacetravel lmao

 

why tf else would I wear his brand  
logo as fashion ? do u know me??

 

im taking the tunes to space vern0

 

 

 

* * *

 

11:49 am

  
what

 

That's crazy

 

Why did'nt i think of this

  
just got 2 b smart V !

I've always wanted to go to space omg

 

can u hook me up with a  
rocket? please?

nope

 

he REALLY likes me... hehe

 

he said this is special

 

just for me

  
12:11 pm

://

lol get ur own billionaire  
bf with a space program

 

@_@

 

 

* * *

 

9:43 pm

maybe I will.

 

 


	2. ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　t w o 　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Google Search: how to go to space no math

Google Search: space companies

Google Search: people who own space companies

Google Search: jeff bezos space

Google Search: jeff bezos twitter

Google Search: ROBOT DOGS?

Google Search: does jeff bezos like star wars

Google Search: blue origin rocket memes

Google Search: how to meet billionaires

Google Search: how to get billionaire old guys to like you

 

* * *

 (Messages) 

**Josh**

dude

remember when i said i wanted to go to space??

 

Which of the 37 times you've said this are you asking me to remember?

 

i'm not joking 

i have an idea

 

Should I be worried?

 

uh no but you probably will be haha

well, it's claire's idea really...

 

Okay, so I should be worried. 

 

oh my god listen 

her bf the tesla guy is gonna send her to space

 

So you're gonna go with her? 

 

no I asked and she said no

but

(img message) 

he's not the only dude with a rocket

He's really not. I'm pretty sure that is something you can buy in the dirtie shop at the mall... 

 

 shut up lmao

 

lol ^-^

but.. if claire can get musk dude to take her to space.. 

maybe i can get mr. blue origin mr. amazon jeff bezos to take me to space

 

How are you gonna do that Vernon? 

 

Be his friend? date him?? whatever it takes dude 

i'm going to space

and i'm gonna beat claire to it too!

 

 

Sorry I thought you just said you are going to date Jeff Bezos because you want to go to space???

 

maybe so

 

This is a bad idea for 100000 reasons dude

 

gotta blast

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will Vernon get Jeff Bezos to notice him? What will his friends think about his plan to get to space? How will Claire react when she learns Vernon has copied her plan?   
> Stay tuned xoxo


	3. ☆♬○♩●♪✧♩　t h r e e　♩✧♪●♩○♬☆

(messages)

**Seungkwannn**

uhmm hello ?

VERNONIEEE 

 

yeh?

 

why are u being weird lately?

weirder than normal

...what do you mean?

>.<

pls don't pretend like youre not up to something.. 

just some big plans

WHAT PLNAS?????????!!

V.. VERNOMG

no

lmao

* * *

 (Messages)

**rocket mom (Claire LMAO)**

Hey grimes?

Can I ask you for something??

you need a flavor vernny?

.. yes

remember when you said i should get my own space bf..? 

do you

know

 

ur after a baezoz???

gross. please do not say that but yes

i mean he is kind of like the boyf's top rival so we're not frindz 

but.. ,,,,,. 

he follows me on twitter lmao

ill see what i can do

WHAT 

NO 

I just wanted his number or contact somehow... 

I'll see what i can do 

hmmmm okay

wait why are you helping me? you're trying to get there first.

tbh itll be fun lol

a little competition heehee! 

 

  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway at some point I am going to actually write this just for the sake of having seungkwan kill off jeff bezos but anyway i just decided it was a nice time to keep on trolling you all. 
> 
> eventually this will be prose and not just chat... 
> 
> uhhh comment if you want to see this shitpost come to fruition and tell me your ideas. i have a whole ending scene in mind but like... the inbetween?? 
> 
> why am i doing this lmao

**Author's Note:**

> anyway this was a big joke and i hope at least one person reads this and thinks it is funny.  
> i might actually continue to write it for the laffs tbh.. 
> 
>  
> 
> carats, follow me on tumblr @dk-guapo


End file.
